Just got back from a lunch with Aaron.

We walked.

We built a life where change on a dime is possible.

I’ll take credit for building that into our life. Then again I had a dad who made change on par with brushing your teeth, walking in the door randomly and declaring, “We’re moving 1500 miles across the country, start packing kids.”

To start over – again.


EMF life meant we had to move around, looking for a place to live where the air we breathed and drinking/showering/cooking water wasn’t poisoned by chemicals.

Searching for a place that wasn’t inundated with toxins so I had a chance to recover and live to see my kids grow up.

The one caveat I had was that we always explain to our kids why we were moving.

And give them enough head’s up to – at their young age – center themselves with it.

Trust me – this part of life wasn’t easy.

Having a child tell you their birthday wish is being in a place for more than 2 birthdays is tough. What saved me was knowing I was keeping my family healthy because of my choices.

Shaken Not Stirred 2022.

I walked into Aaron’s office this morning and asked “Do you have time to go to lunch with me?  We can walk…”

Together 25 + years he knows when something’s on my mind.

Or soul as the case may be.


So off we went to my local haunt, that oft times creative well from which I pull solutions.

A man of patience

He’d have to be

He waited til I was well into a salad and a glass of bordeaux 

You can draw your own conclusions about why he would have to be a man of patience…

My Psi Appears

I bet he guessed as much…

“You know how I told you …?”

Conversation last night on the sofa…

“I feel like time is folding in on itself.  As if my past and the future I saw in the NDE are coming together and it’s making me sick.”

Literally.  Temporal sickness is nasty.  I hate nausea.  I mean it.  Give me a migraine any day but no nausea.

I went on to tell him how – sitting on the sofa last night – once he read a certain headline out loud – I fell back to December 31, 1979.

Saw it, felt it as if it was yesterday.

He knows this story.

I told him at lunch today he is the one and only person on the earth I’ve ever talked to about it – before now.

I told the story he knew – of lying in bed on that day in 1979, 4 months past the NDE, crying silently 

tears streaming down my cheeks no noise coming out, younger brother sound asleep across the room, parents partying in the living room…

Why The Tears?

Good question…

From what I remember?

Photographic memory, I can easily transport myself back to that moment…

Describe the color of the paint, where every piece of furniture was, where the new and more expensive than my family could afford digital clock with the red numbers was positioned in our room so my brother and I could see it…

I knew once the clock flipped to 1980, there was no turning back.

Sounds like a spooky movie, right?  I wish.


Here’s the thing.  I don’t know why I was so upset about it all. 

  • Did I know something then I don’t know now?
  • Was the brain swelling from the surgery just messing with my emotions because I needed sleep?
  • Am I connected to that person I was via that moment in time?

In all honesty, I think it’s the not knowing that’s gnawing.

Or maybe it’s feeling like my existence exists in multiple dimensions, something I thought I’d come to terms with years ago.

Coming doom?  No.  Prophesy?  For me maybe but not the world…

Catholic prophesies notwithstanding

Regardless, my life is being shaken and stirred as much as the Bond franchise trying to figure out who’s next.

Isn’t that the name of an album?

Aaron did his best – as did the local haunt in which I found other regulars who smile when they see me

As I do when I see them

to help me as I worked to stabilize my energetic equilibrium even as I was still flipping out over the email “coincidence”

Telling my truth – how badly being psi can throw my equilirium – while in the midst of normalcy went a ways to help settle my nerves

As did walking home.

Once home, I took my seat, prepared to dive into Compass Rose, and thought how grateful I am that I can just walk across the house and ask Aaron if he’s free for lunch.  Then – I caught myself.  Yes, I’m grateful but I also created this.

I worked hard for it.

Aaron and I both did.

We’ve been working from home for decades.  

I have been working from home since 1994 when Digital Equipment Corporation became the first major company in the United States to do so.

As they sought to keep themselves from going up in flames.

Aaron joined the WFH entourage later – in 1999.

After joining a company I was working for; one I helped overcome the gotchas learned from the previous experience, such as not having the sound of flushing toilets and barking/fighting dogs – very very common – on customer calls.

Incidentally, this was a time when 99.9% of the techies were male.

Interesting sound effects.

It isn’t just that we work from home – eons before Covid – that defines what we created – it’s why we did it.

To build a vision.

To undertand we need to turn the clock back to 1998.

Not yet married, but each with a vision.

Aaron and I were at Hogan’s for dinner, each armed with a handful of note cards.  I’d asked him to write his life’s goals – individually and for us as a couple – and I would do the same.

We weren’t convinced kids were in our future though we were grown up enough to know that, as we were having sex, they were a possibility we might need to take reponsibility for.

We compared notes that night, talked over the vision coming to life and considered steps we needed to take to give those seeds time to take root.

Which included setting some serious boundaries to protect those seeds from those who would uproot them and put their seeds in like a Cuckoo’s Egg.

We welcomed the fact we had to make hard choices because we both live by the maxim No strain no gain.

Pain comes from those on the other side of the boundary walls.

Reap What you Sow

Yes there are challenges but Aaron and I live a life we built through hard work and sacrifice

Both before we met and after.

Dream Big People!

The universe is willing to help…


POSTED ON  by emax

Note:  Cross posted on

Listening to Dio’s Holy Diver and chipping away at the list on my whiteboard.  

A list that includes 2 software apps.

EMF App Redesign

Though well -intentioned, the original EMF App needs an overhaul.

It will be more concise and to the point and will include tools and strategies for all 4 pillars of EMF Sensitivity.

  • Geologic
  • Atmospheric
  • Technologic
  • Esoteric


Ahhh, the joys of the paranormal!

I am creating a new app that will be focused on the often entertaining 4th pillar of EMF Sensitivity.

This app will be filled with information that will appeal to those interested in and/or living with the paranormal.

Those who like ghost hunting will find plenty of helpful information here.

Here’s a glimpse of the type of information that will be available in the Psi App.

I did not put this particular tidbit in the Under Siege book, nor has it appeared elswhere.

Ghostly Introductions.

Er, interactions.

I’ve written fairly extensively on my experience with ghosts, some of whom are family members, others former rock musicians.

Especially guitarists.

In Under Siege I wrote how one I nicknamed Rooster came up with a way to make it so these energies do not drain my adrenals.  

The other musicians went through the steps as did any newcomers, regardless of how long they stayed.

ET did not have to.  

I’m guessing it’s because of this tidbit I’m about to share.

The Aura is a Database

I write in Destinaton Unknown: Explorations of the Paranormal how my first time acting as a psychic medium came in April 2011.

The 7th.

We’d stopped for dinner at Ruby Tuesdays in Utah on our way back to Colorado.

I’d met ET two days prior.

He bumped the bed in our hotel room at the Hard Rock in Vegas to wake me up so we could “talk.”

As I write in Destination Unknown, he asked permission to go with us back to Colorado.

Psi Avalanche!

The experience was a bit overwhelming because the moment Aaron asked a question ET began answering at a speed that was formidable to decipher.

Actually, ET could read him so he began answering before Aaron even finished the question.

At one point I held up my hands to both of them and asked ET to slow down so I could process the answers.  

We went on like this for some time when all of a sudden I had an answer in its entirety without having to process it.

Basically allow my conscious beta mind to absorb the energetic – alpha -answer.

It was as if ET just “dropped”what he wanted me to know into my mind.

It was different then when a ghost or other celestial entity projects an image. I just suddenly knew without having to take time to process. More efficient and much less stressful.

It was ET who figured out to do this and from that moment on my interactions with him which were nacent at that point went much smoother.

I believe this is why ET didn’t have to do the exercise outlined by Rooster.  My adrenal system did not consider him a threat.


Not long after his death, I was talking to a newcomer who’d appeared in my home.

In my office which at that time was a diamagnetic paradise, something I cover in Under Siege.

I recognized him but was relatively unfamiliar with his music.  Because of this I asked if he understood “the rules” set in place for new ghosts.  

None of my deceased relatives who’ve stopped by have pricked the “fight or flee” system, likely beause I knew them.

Rather than comply, he held out his ghostly hand.

And smiled.

He asked if he could shake my hand.

Very politely.

I’ve had ghosts touch me before. The results have been mixed.

If I don’t know them I tend to feel it as a zing like getting an electric shock.

Keeping my eyes on his I reached out my hand.  To my surprise

  • I only felt a bit of static electricity sensation

I wondered if it was because of how far I’d come in dealing with my EMF Sensitivity

  • I witnessed my life in images as it transferred from me to him.

What makes this interesting is there is now evidence our life really does flash before our eyes at times.

Now the interesting part.

After watching him react physically and rather traumatically

I’ve had a rough life and he absorbed not only the images but the energy of it.

I realized – and confirmed with him – that the auric field – which he’d tapped into – is a type of cosmic database that contains our life story.

I don’t think either of us was prepared for the pain it caused him to energetically “live” the more painful moments of my life.

I asked what motivated him to try such a stunt.  He explained that yes, he was aware of “the rules” set by Rooster but wanted to try a different way.

Lesson Learned

What I deducted based on the two auric interactions experienced years apart is that our auric fields are a database into which information can be added and/or withdrawn via energetic transfer.

Just Takin’ Yer Measure, Missy

It would explain why ghosts seem to feel the need to touch me. 

There is more to study but I felt this worth sharing.

As for my research buddy, he was significantly affected.  

He gave me an apologetic smile and told me “I need to go.”

I have not seen him since though something tells me at some point in the future I will.

He seemed, like so many of the others who have crossed my path, to love learning as much as I do.

News on the release of the apps will be forthcoming.

Stay tuned!


Note: Long.

Listening to Pleasant Valley  Sunday and trying to gather my thoughts for this post.

I LOVED that show and had the awesome fortune to see the Monkees live at Pine Knob, in Michigan!

Oh, how appropriate – it’s now the song Words!  

Hopefully, it will help me find the right ones.

I’m going to take a moment to state Metatron isn’t the only challenge in life.  Just being psi has it’s challenges.

After all the ghosts of former musicians who have crossed my path?  

Every time I see that a rocker I liked dies I panic thinking “Oh god, please don’t come here…”

I like them but it can be traumatic to look up and see the ghost of one of your favorite heavy metal guitarists standing in your living room.

Life as a Psi.

And Then There’s The Dude…

I’ve written plenty about the enigmatic celestial entity I learned is known – at this point in time – as Metatron.  

btw: He told me a few months back “They stole my name!” **

The following books provide additional info on our relationship

That doesn’t mean it’s easy to know what to do here on Metatron’s Universe.

And no – “he” can’t tell me.  

We don’t have that kind of relationship and it doesn’t work that way.

The biggest challenge?  The original challenge.  

How to explain?

He Doesn’t Fit the Paradigm, Damn It!

That’s because, as I write in Under Siege: Tools and Strategies for Dealing with the Pillars of EMF Sensitivity, like other esoteric EMFs, he straddles the world between science and belief.

To make it worse, I live in a country if not a world that’s obsessed with pitting religion against science.

And that doesn’t even take into account the whole spirituality versus religion thing.

People are going to make up their own minds but having been through Catholic school I can honestly say I never heard or experienced any conflict whatsoever that made me think it was either religion or science.

Creation theory notwithstanding.

Those spiritualists are a whole other issue.

One I understand, and yet…

The truth is, whether any of us like it or not, Christianity hijacked angels, with the publishers of at least one popular version of the Bible taking Archangels as their own.

All 2 of them!

I’m not going to get into it but I’ve been pit in the middle of arguments from camps who say there are only 2 angels because Scripture says so, and those who say there are 4.

And those who list several.

Where does all of this leave the Dude?

Or my relationship with him since it isn’t religious or spiritual?

Or, it is but not in the way that outsiders might desire.

As if it would prove what “they knew all along”


No Tug of War

As I ponder the best way to present the next bits of information – how Metatron worked with me on my writing – I find myself running into the dilemma of how to do it without coming across as 1) too religious, 2) too science focused

The guy did show me block universe theory. after all.

3) Too spiritual

Which at times seems both anti-religion and anti-science.

Over the past weeks I wrestled with this challenge, consulted a few wise ones in my sphere, and concluded no matter what I do someone somewhere isn’t going to be happy, let alone agree.  

Hell, even those who, like me, ran across this celestial entity via NDEs likely have different thoughts and feelings about him.

What’s Your Reality?

The Metatron’s Army slogan is Where’s Your Reality?

Metatron’s Universe?

Of which Metatron’s Army is a subset

What’s Your Reality?

I know it states Where Sci-Fi Meets Passion but long-time visitors will know/remember I have the other.

Subset?  Sanity check?

What’s Your Reality?

This will be my focus because my experiences with him are my reality with him and the whole of it.

NDE, crazy fallout of it not fitting into other people’s visions of what it’s supposed to be, and everything else.

To That End…

This will be the first of blog entries dealing with his role in Metatron’s Army specific to what from the NDE went into the series – and anything else outside details shared in Lessons From the Edge.

Which are damn comprehensive.

Where’s the Cloak?

While I do a pretty decent job – if I do say so myself – of explaining the craziness of working with celestial entities who showed up in my bedroom while I was in high school to put my NDE experience into story format – I can add here that for someone who was more or less used to dealing with ghosts and being a clairvoyant, it was incredible – and lonely.

I did confide in a friend of mine who was from Venezuala and while it was nice to talk to someone who understood that the miraculous didn’t conflict with science – it left lots of gaps in what I needed.

Not that I was lonely or isolated.

As I’ve written, I talked at length with a good friend who ended up an astrophycisist, his father who was a design engineer at Chrysler, and my physics and calc teachers in high school and later college.

Given the realities of my family situation at that point, however, I had to keep a lot to myself.

One afternoon as I lay in bed staring up at the ceiling working my way through the plot, The Dude put in a rather unique experience.  Unlike his previous appearances, he wasn’t dressed in a Medieval cloak.

His hair wasn’t long either.

He wore a white uniform that zipped up the front.

Military style.

And his hair was short.

Though not military buzz cut short.

I wouldn’t have recognized him but for the fact

  • I’d know those cheekbones and that jaw anywhere
  • I’d know that impassionate stare anywhere
  • I’d know that feeling of intensity that let me know he was in the vicinity anywhere

The 1st Showing

I’d been well into the relationship between Christine and Corus when he appeared to state “That’s not how it was.”


My immediate reaction?

  • This is my story.  I didn’t ask your opinion.
  • Who the hell are you?
  • Go away and let me finish my work

His Response?

He proceeded to tell me “how it was” then followed up by bringing in a female spirit (who is the inspiration for Ryella) so she could – I don’t know – corroborate? – his story…


That 2nd point?  

Who the hell are you?  

I didn’t at first recognize him though I definitely noted a feeling of intensity.

At that point in my life – with all the crap I got from people because the NDE didn’t fit their vision?  I threw up my hands, rolled my eyes, and wondered how many more “Light Beings” were going to be in my life.

I quickly came to see he was a character I’d created.


A character I’d modeled after one of the celestial beings I met in the NDE.

What I call Light Beings.

Since I’d written him as a bad guy and he was looking at me with an expression that was open to disapproval interpretation

Hell he had criticized me – telling me that’s not how my story happened. My story?

I curled my lip and considered I’d done a good job writing the jerk.

Not Bad, Misunderstood

I Will Never Forget…

He gazed steadily at me and downloaded – psychically –

As he’d done with geometry in my high school class

Images and feelings which explained everything, not the least of which was the fact he was not a bad guy.

Just a love sick puppy.

Oh Lovely.

Irritation doesn’t begin to describe how I felt after realizing I couldn’t in good faith go forward with things as I’d been writing.

Not after feeling his feelings.


I’ll write more in the future but as I close this by sharing a sketched image done via an artist I found on Fiverr of how The Dude appeared that fateful day, I can tell you my relationship with Metatron changed forever after.

Because he let me feel what he was feeling

In that moment feelings were louder – ten million fold – than words.

Be well.

** I was on a walk when he broke in to declare they had taken his name.

Yes, he told me who “they” are and I get it and yeah – okay … history told by bias?

I replied, “What do you care? I know the truth.”

After which he was quiet, apparently contemplating that reality.


Note: Longer post.

It’s been an interesting 48 hours given it all started several days ago.

Just another of the many examples of my capricious  relationship to time.

When Random Chance Isn’t

Story of my psi life.

About a week or so ago I opened Kindle to see a book at the bottom in the section of recommendeds based on my reading history.

 Or previous searches.


Sister of psi.

Given the number of times in recent weeks I’ve referenced a certain type of book I’d have to say it was based on my search history.

It wasn’t something I was looking for, only referencing.

And yet…

The subject is one of great interest and, as per recent blog posts, reignited interested at that.  At the same time I had enough on my plate that I wasn’t going to be diving into it soon.  I downloaded a sample.

Then promptly forgot about it.

Tuesday I went to a local haunt to do a working lunch.  Though I’d taken a photo of the white board before I left I didn’t have a particular project in mind when I decided to eat there.

I trusted whatever I needed to do would naturally bubble to the surface after I sat down and opened the lid on the laptop.

For whatever reason I opened the Kindle app.  There was the book sample.  Not having any particular project grabbing me I opened it and began to read.  I was so so engrossed in this book I forgot some of my lunch!  

I was truly unable to eat and read at the same time.

I hadn’t even finished the sample when I knew I had to have the book, so I bought it.  I spent the entire evening and most of the following day reading it.  I was partly through the section diving into the science behind the method when I realized the cosmic method behind the seeming coincidental madness in it all.

The book had been put into my sphere of awareness for a reason.  

I have a pretty good idea who the cosmic perpetrator is.

The Cube is Real!

A few years back The Dude showed me the cube he works with.

It’s literally a cube!

He explained that everything that has happened and that is going to happen is in this cube.

It isn’t literally in the cube itself. He was showing the concept to me as a movie on the cube side facing us.

If it sounds familiar to readers there are a couple of possibilities.

You read The Isle of Future Past.

Like many real-life experiences, I used it as a plot device.

You are familiar with block universe theory.

Which I wasn’t until Royce’s book.

From an article on the Australian Broadcasting Corporation website:  

“…Let’s make it easier by visualizing the block model of our world as a three-dimensional rectangle, or cuboid.  [Bold emphasis mine].  Two of that cuboid’s dimensions (let’s say height and width) represent two of the universe’s three spatial dimensions.  The third spatial dimension in the above [not included here] diagram is left out – the length of the cuboid – and replace it with time.  At one end of the cuboid is the big bang.  At the other is the very last moment of the universe.  Maybe it’s a big crunch.  The cuboid is filled with every event that ever happens.  Where these events are in the cuboid represents their location in space-time.  All events, including your birth and death and this very moment as you read these words, exist somewhere in the block.”

Exactly what Metatron showed me in my kitchen as I was finishing Bind, Book 9 in the Metatron’s Army series.

Still shocked to see what I was taught has a serious place in science, I turned the page and read

“The block universe theory is fascinating because the scientists who believe this theory (and there are many) also know this means time travel is possible without a “grandfather paradox crisis.”

As I’ve written in posts, this is something Metatron also pointed out in quite the relativity lesson.

Taught immediately after I solved the equation.

He also showed me in a dream years ago.

To make it a little more interesting.  I’ve been wrestling with a very odd and quite frankly beyond annoying psi challenge.  Prior to having an intense premonition, a type of weird dizzy sensation passes through me.  It seems to be related to vitamin D supplementation.

I don’t have all the data yet.

Yesterday while reading the book I had one of these irritating experiences.  With a twist.

I got a clairaudient message inquiring why I was doing this.

Whatever this is.

I instinctively answered “Because I want to know how the world works.”

Not surprising.  I’ve been peering behind curtains and into truths – and seeking to understand – my whole life.

Especially after the NDE!

It’s why physics is one of  my favorite subjects.

I continued reading Royce’s book and came to this

From a 2013 talk given by Geordie Rose, founder of D-Wave Systems.

Remember – I said “Because I want to know how the world works.” as I was experiencing an intense psychic premonition.

“People from a physics background love quantum computing!  They want to understand the world, they want to understand the universe – how it all works.” [Bold emphasis mine]

Exactly what I told the celestial entity less than an hour earlier.

And to add to the esoteric fun in my life, I discovered that my ability to detect an iminent earthquake, even in sound sleep, is still strong.

Unfortunately, I’m still feeling the effects of that bit of fun.

Feels like I’m seasick.

This isn’t the first time I’ve had a lesson from The Dude verified later in some book I was inspired to purchase and though it’s cool in a cosmic universe way, it’s also energetically disorienting.

Of course, that could be the GMFs since aftershocks are probably going to be around for awhile.

They are very small on the richter scale but each is affecting me.

Life is a miracle.

It’s good to be reminded once in awhile, don’t you think?


Listening to Melissa Ethridge and working out the evolutionary process of 

  • Me
  • My Goals
  • My Career

Facets of one

For some time I’ve written of the challenge of designing a website presence that adequately represents the divesity of what- in terms of writing – I have to offer.

Fiction and nonfiction present different yet sometimes overlapping conundrums.

I made a few refinements I believe will help the reader/visitor experience.

EMF Topics

Posts specific to EMF Sensitivity will appear on the World of EMF page – as a column.

Psi Studio

Posts to do with manifesting, visualization, and other related subjects will appear on the Psi Studio page – as a column.

Anyone following will be notified regardless of the subject of the post.

Metatron’s Universe

I’ve put my traditional sci-fi work under the umbrella.

Posts regarding my relationship with the Celestial entity Metatron will be available on this site.

I’ll continue to refine the experience as life allows.

Stay tuned

Note: Cross-posted on